Only 8k words in, and I began despairing of making word count. This isn't because I don't have sufficiently rich fodder for my fictional non-fiction account of a made-up cult but because I have a hard time organizing it and keeping the passages different from one another and interesting to write. I can only say "Cthulhu loves us" in so many ways, so many times.
But then I had a revelation: if I ever am desperate for words, I can re-write various Bible stories according to my modified Cthulhu mythos. The most fun of these will of course be Cthulhu Genesis and Cthulhu Revelation (in which we actually are eaten, but in being eaten, we are transported to a dimension of pure love and union and wisdom), but the more I think about it, the more I think that any Bible story can be re-written as a Cthulhu story. One of the founders claims to be the illegitimate son of African dictator Jean-Bedel Bokassa. I forgot which country he dictated, but the important thing is that he claimed to be the 13th Apostle secretly anointed by the Pope. Admirably crazy. This is a great way for this character to claim that he is a prophet and so has visions of the way various Biblical stories REALLY went.
Jonah and the whale? Jonah and the tentacle monster (who just ate him because he wanted to enlighten him). Dude on the road to Damascus? Dude on a sea voyage where he meets Cthulhu. Tower of Babel? Big tower that gets destroyed by the evil winged creatures because people were working together too much. I think there's definitely 50K worth of material there if I can't think of anything else. But I draw the line at the begats. Oh, and I also have arbitrary rules to make up. Woohoo!
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Wow, that sounds ingenius.
ReplyDeleteThe Sermon on the Shores of Ry'leh?
Bizarre angel descriptions as Cthulhoid tentacles? Hmm.
No begats but how about Leviticus? :P
It's like the Biblical version of Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters! Wheee!
ReplyDeleteRyan - OMG I love that, the Sermon on the Shores of Ry'leh (not sure how to spell that). But would they eat fish there??
ReplyDeleteDaniel - I had to smother a LOL when I read that. IT SO IS!
"Lo, and they had not ate the fish, as the untrue source had told, but rather the sanity of men who, through the losing of their will, would understand the meaning."
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